Are We Having Fun Yet?

We've gotten to the point in our society where there are simply too many rules. It may not even be possible anymore to be a sane, healthy, happy person without breaking some of these rules and thereby being considered by someone to be uneducated, irresponsible, or inappropriate.

Really.

To prevent at least someone from looking down on you here are just some of the things you're not allowed to do:

1. Eat pork
2. Enjoy a big, buttery grilled filet mignon
   
3. Eat meat in general
4. Eat real butter or cream
5. Eat too much "bad" fat
6. Eat too little "good" fat
7. Eat non-organic food
8. Eat too much sugar
9. Eat too few vegetables
10. Eat too few grains
    
11. Eat too much
12. Eat too little
    
13. Eat any fried food
14. Eat fast food
15. Eat any dessert (no...really)
16. Be too skinny
17. Be too fat
18. Drive a car without having your seat belt on
19. Disobey any traffic rule
    
20. Drive a motorcycle without a helmet
21. Let your small kids ride in your car without being strapped into a car seat
22. Let your kids ride a bike, skateboard, or scooter without a helmet and knee pads (and elbow pads for good measure)
    
23. Spend too much time with someone of the opposite sex other than your spouse
    
24. Have an affair
25. Masturbate
26. Engage in certain kinds of sex
    
27. Go above the speed limit in your car
    
28. Talk on your cellphone while you drive
29. Do anything besides drive while driving
    
30. Cuss
31. Be late paying any bill
32. Not pay your debts
33. Not show up for work
    
34. Show up late to anything, especially your job
    
35. Laugh too much while on the job
36. Dress or groom in a very personalized way in a business setting
    
37. Decorate your office cube in a personalized way (true in many places)
38. Don't work enough
39. Take too much time off ("Permission to take personal time sir?")
    
40. Work too much ("He's a workaholic!")
    
41. Include recyclables in your regular trash
42. Tell people what you really think and feel
    
43. Drive a big car (eco...)
44. Use too much paper (eco...)
45. Use chemicals in household products
46. Use chemicals in grooming products
    
47. Shop at WalMart (lest you support the global devil)
48. Wear anything made in a country with deplorable work conditions
49. Shop at The Gap
50. Wear fur
51. Wear too little
52. Wear too much
53. Talk too little
54. Talk too much
55. Be too loud
56. Be too quiet
57. Be too confident
58. Not be confident enough
    
59. Smoke in a restaurant (in most states)
60. Smoke at work
61. Smoke in certain parks and other public areas
    
62. Smoke at all
63. Drink too much alcohol
64. Smoke weed
    
65. Advocate radical change of any kind
66. ...
    

A complete list would be much, much longer.

Are we having fun yet?

-Forsyth